Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family

Today, on this first Sunday after Christmas, the Church holds up the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph for our remembrance and honor, but also as the example for family life in the world today.

When looking at the Holy Family, two key aspects jump out as important for us to notice. First, they were open to God’s will for their lives. Mary showed this openness by following God’s will and becoming the Mother of God, and Joseph followed God’s will by accepting the pregnancy, even if he didn’t understand it at first. Likewise, in today’s Gospel, we see Joseph being open to God’s will by taking the family to Egypt in order to avoid Herod’s murderous wrath.

Second, the Holy Family practiced their faith, and ensured that it was passed on to Jesus. In the Gospels, we know of at least 2 times that the family went to the temple to perform the temple rituals, and tradition has that they were active in the synagogue in Nazareth.

In our culture today, it’s good that we spend a day focusing on family life. According to the Second Vatican Council, in it’s document Lumen Gentium, “The family is, so to speak, the domestic church. In it parents should, by their word and example, be the first preachers of the faith to their children; they should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each of them, fostering with special care vocation to a sacred state.” (LG 11) By calling the family the “domestic Church”, the Second Vatican Council shows the great importance of families.

Notice the parallels between the quote from Vatican II and the characteristics of the Holy Family I outlined earlier. The Council calls parents to “be the first preachers of the faith to their children,” which parallels Mary and Joseph practicing their faith and passing that faith on to Jesus. Likewise, the Council says that parents “should encourage [children] in the vocation which is proper to each of them, fostering with special care vocation to a sacred state,” which shows an openness and acceptance of God’s will for the family and individual family members.

This second point is of great importance, especially in light of the low numbers of vocations to the priesthood and religious life. Parents can make or break a religious vocation. I personally know several people that delayed their discernment to a vocation for some time because they felt or knew that their parents were opposed to a religious vocation. In addition, many will not consider a vocation to the priesthood or religious life if their parents don’t encourage them to discern a vocation.

You might have heard someone say, “Families are the foundation of our culture and nation,” which is very much true. Families are also the foundation of the Church. If families in a parish are vibrant, active, and faithful, you’ll have a vibrant and active parish, but if families aren’t strong in the practice of their faith, the parish suffers and dies.

Right now, we need active and faithful families, because we live in a culture that is attacking families. Look at the popular TV shows: few, if any show a traditional, functional family life. Instead, the TV shows promote “alternative lifestyles” and sexual promiscuity. Unmarried partner benefits are becoming available through corporations, so one’s live-in partner can receive the same benefits as a spouse. Gay marriage movements are cropping up throughout the country, seeking to make homosexual unions equal to normal, heterosexual marriages.

At the same time all this is going on, there is a disregard or even a desire to dispose of family members seen as inconvenient. Elderly family members who are too difficult to care for are dumped off into a nursing home and never visited again. I worked in a nursing home throughout my high school years, and many residents never saw or heard from their families more than once a year, at best. Of course, we’ve dealt with abortion over the past 40 years, and now euthanasia is becoming legalized throughout the United States, especially here in Montana where it was legalized by judicial decision. If the family member isn’t wanted any more, or in the way, dispose of them.

A very troubling way that families are attacked is through the glut of no-fault divorces. Let’s make this clear: there are legitimate reasons for divorce, such as physical abuse. Getting an abused spouse and children away from the abuser is a good thing, and should be encouraged. The problem is with divorces that end due to “irreconcilable differences”. No difference is irreconcilable if the couple is willing to work together to overcome them. Irreconcilable differences is a code phrase for two people who are unwilling to bend their wills for the good of the other.

Instead, St. Paul tells us how a successful marriage should be: “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.” Now, poor St. Paul gets a bad rap for this passage, and unjustly. People see “wives, be subordinate to your husbands” and immediately think that women should be lorded over by their husbands. That’s not the case. In the second sentence, St. Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives.” True love is a total giving of yourself to others, just as being subordinate is a total giving of your will to others. St. Paul is saying that both husbands and wives need to give themselves to each other totally, 100%. Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition.

In our culture today, we need families who will follow these principles and the example of the Holy Family, because we need to defend the family. To do so, families need to live the Catholic faith openly, and without apology. Parents, what you believe should not be a secret to your children. We need to pass on our faith to the next generation, because parents truly are the first preachers of their children. Parents need to encourage children in living out their faith, especially in discerning a call to the priesthood or religious life. Finally, we all need to support movements to defend marriage, families, and human life.

The Holy Family truly is our example in this defense of family, and should be the example for all families. Families need to live up to that example for the sake of their family, for the sake of the Church, and for the sake of the world.