Concern About Children Conceived After Death of Parent

An article on Fox News caught my eye this morning: Children Conceived After Death of Parent Face Uphill Battle for Inheritance Rights. Now, this isn’t about children conceived naturally and born after the father dies. Rather, the article details a couple of mothers who each had a child conceived by in-vitro fertilization from the stored sperm of their late husbands. Because the children were conceived after the fathers died, they are not eligible for Social Security inheritance payments.

I’m not so concerned about the money involved, although it should be topic of discussion in a country which currently faces serious debt issues, and has for some time now. My concern is the larger picture about how children are viewed in the United States and other Western European cultures today.

I live in a country where children are killed by the rate of over 1 million a year just for the crime of being “unwanted” by the mother or a “risk” to the mother. Because children are only viewed as “wanted” or “unwanted”, they’re seen by many as objects to possess or be thrown away. They’re not viewed as human,  but just another object – like a car, computer or TV – that will enhance or detract from what I want.

With the prevailing view of children as objects in this culture, I’ve got three concern about the inheritance rights article. First, the fact that science can conceive a child from a dead man’s sperm does not mean that it should, especially for the sake of the mother’s mental health. I fail to see how having a child artificially from her late husband’s sperm will help the mother overcome the grief at losing their husband. Isn’t it more likely that the child will be a constant reminder of the husband she lost?

Second, it’s one thing to be a single mother raising a child due to the accidental or health-related death of the father. It’s another issue for a mother to willingly place herself and the child in that situation from the beginning. Children deserve to have the love and care of both parents, father and mother, if at all possible. To conceive a child in this situation is to willingly deprive the child of the love of its father.

Third, I’m concerned that the children will be seen as objects of remembrance of the deceased husband, much as a beloved photograph or favorite item, instead of a unique human being. Too many children are seen as objects to possess, and too many couples feel they have an entitlement to a child. No one has a right to a child, and no child deserves to be viewed as a memorial to someone else. Gravestones and pictures help us to remember someone; other humans shouldn’t be conceived just for that purpose.

While my heart goes out to all women who have lost their husbands suddenly due to accident or illness, having a child artificially from his sperm is not going to solve the loss, and does no favors to the children.