I’ve been thinking more and more about my concerns around giving special blessings to children at Mass. There are a number of people here who are continuing to express concern because of my stance on not blessing children in the communion line. To be clear, this is a position taken not out of spite, but out of a respect for the liturgy and for the documents of the Second Vatican Council. In paragraph 22, Sacrosanctum Concilium states, “Therefore no other person, even if he be a priest, may add, remove, or change anything in the liturgy on his own authority.” A priest does not have the authority to add a blessing to the liturgy for anyone, because a priest does not have the authority to add anything to the liturgy. It doesn’t matter if other priests go beyond their authority and do it in disobedience. In my mind, it is inappropriate, and I will not. Period.
Of course, people don’t like to hear that. They think it makes the kids feel “special” that they receive this blessing. (As an aside, I think the parents and grandparents get the warm-fuzzies more than the kids do.) Of course, they can’t be blamed. For 30+ years, they’ve been fed a mindset that the liturgy is malleable to whatever we want to do with it. Blessing for kids? Sure, we can add that right during Communion. Having kids come up for the homily and sit with the priest on the sanctuary steps? Sure, we can do that. Holding hands during the Our Father and running around the nave greeting people during the Sign of Peace? Absolutely! Whatever makes you feel good!
As I’ve studied more about the theology of the liturgy, I’ve come to the realization that this “feel good” approach is sending the wrong message about the liturgy. I’ve also become concerned that this has dangerously damaged their relationship with God, and they are blissfully unaware that any damage has been done. Instead of liturgy being the community focusing their minds and hearts on worship of God, it has become a social activity, focusing on ourselves. Now, we don’t come to liturgy to turn to God, but to ourselves. For this reason alone, I despise blessing children in the Communion line (and yes, I chose that strong language very carefully), and encourage other priests to stop immediately.
There’s another reason, more cultural, that should be of concern to these same parents and grandparents: the culture of entitlement. One of the arguments frequently given in defense of blessing children is, “They feel like they get something.” Yes, because we wouldn’t want our children to learn how to do something without getting something in return.
We live in a culture of entitlement, where a large percentage of the population expects to get something for nothing. There is a large population in the United States and other countries who believe that they are entitled to anything and everything their hearts desire without any commitment or work on their part. They should “get something” for just being there. Is that the message we want to give our children in the Church? I don’t, and firmly hope that parents and grandparents don’t want to send that message either. Unfortunately, this mindset that children need to “get something” at Communion time only enforces this idea.
Now, will stopping the blessings of children at Communion cure that? No, not on its own, but it’s a first step. It’s an opportunity for parents to teach children that there are some things you just have to wait for. Some things are so important that you have to get ready for them. Some things you may even have to work for. Receiving Holy Communion is one of those things. You have to wait until you’re old enough. You have to prepare to receive. It’s not something that is just given to you. One day you will be able to receive, and I hope that will be a joyful day, but you’ll need to wait until then.
Parents and grandparents, I beg you: work with me on this! Please don’t continue to argue about it. My decision is made, the issue is done. This is truly done in the best interest of your children and grandchildren, as well as for you. Use this opportunity to help the children to see how special and important receiving Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament truly is. Help them to see that the liturgy is about worship of God, and not us getting something and feeling good. Then, when they can come forward to receive Holy Communion for the first time, they will truly understand what it means to be special enough to receive Our Lord.
“Let the children come to me…” (Jesus) So simple… So heartfelt. Why do people ruin what can be a beautiful experience for the child by talking about “entitlement” for this issue? Why not talk to your children about the joy of receiving a blessing from a priest at this time of Communion with our Lord…
how about we teach our children about Spiritual Communions until they are able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist?
Fr Sticha, Montana is so blessed to have you!
Wow! I’m surprised that this is even an issue. The only time my six children have NOT received a blessing in the Communion line was when there was a liberal priest distributing communion. I would think that our holy priests would be glad that our children treasure their priestly blessing. (mine certainly do– no “warm fuzzy Catholicism here!)
I am a catholic priest, Pastor of a large parish. I arrived 7 years ago to an empty Church Mass on Sunday less than half full. Today the assembly comes early to get a seat. we welcome everyone and see the face of Jesus in everyone especially our children. At our family Mass I bring them around the Altar. I believe many of our future priest will come from these young children. Our parish is amazing full of Holy people. I can go on stop your nonsense and bless the children ,they’re children of God, please open your heart father
Was Jesus instituting the Holy Eucharist when he said that? If only the Gospels contained an account of him instituting the Holy Eucharist. Then we’d be able to contextualize such comments about children.
Pennyate:
When Jesus blessed the children, He did not do so within the context of the cultic sacrificial worship of Ancient Israel. With all due respect, your understanding of what he did is misapplied when it comes to the Mass. Jesus respected the norms of Ancient Israel’s cultic form of sacrificial worship because His own Father dictated them. Furthermore, these all pointed out to His own sacrifice on the cross.
Now, the children can certainly approach the priest after Mass, but not during the distribution of Holy Communion.
Its simplicity is certainly not sufficient for instituting “let the children come to me” as an ubiquitous rule. It would hardly be appropriate to allow children to wander up to the altar during the Consecration, and I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a Priest to deliver a homily while stopping innumerable times to bestow a blessing. These examples are extreme, certainly; yet they illustrate the issue, which is: “For everything there is a fitting time, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecc 3:1). The question is whether the communion line is the appropriate time and place for the blessing of children. Fr. Sticha is not suggesting, above, that children ought not to be allowed blessings; rather, he argues that the communion line is not the appropriate time and place for such an action. This would seem to find no contradiction in the Gospel, as Jesus did many things which did not involve the simultaneous blessing of children.
Pennyante, with all due respect, as well-meaning as your statement is, there is a huge misunderstanding of just what Jesus did. First of all, this account did not occur within the framework of Ancient Israel’s cultic form of sacrificial worship. Jesus, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t some sort of a rebel rouser who was against everything and anything. He had great respect for the temple cultic sacrificial form of worship of Ancient Israel because His own Father had dictated the norms.
We need to follow Jesus’ example and respect the norms of the Church, who is the New Israel.
My thoughts exactly. I’m sure Jesus turned away all the kids that were at The Last Supper. Oh that’s right no kids were at The Last Supper because they were at that convenient late night day care offered in Jerusalem during Passover.
There is no need for the sarcasm, Laura. There is, as I read through many of these posts, a real need for liturgical catechesis, especially among those who support this ilicit practice.
We need to not think with our emotions; instead, we need to look to the norms that the Church has given us as our guiding principle. As Fr. Cory and others have said, the proper time for the blessing is at the end of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. It is something that everyone will receive, thus, it is the most inclusive part of the Mass. We cannot invent and imbed things into the Mass on our own authority. To do so would be to commit the sin of Adam, pride. We should not presume to know more than the Church.
Michelle, I think it’s a bit condescending to say “we need to not think with our emotions” as if that somehow makes it okay to dismiss those on the other side of the issue. Nor does imputing the sin of pride seal the deal for your position–the same accusation can go both ways.
I fully support Fr. Sticha’s pastoral authority to make this decision for himself and his parish. I appreciate his desire to do the right thing. That I disagree with his position in this matter doesn’t negate that.
Most recently I offered some positive reasons for the practice. My first two posts are in this comment thread already; the third is here: http://romishpotpourri.blogspot.com/2012/04/appropriate-times-for-blessing.html
I am not arguing from emotion or sentimentality or sense of entitlement. I’ve addressed your and Father’s contentions about interpreting SC as you do and offered a fair amount of evidence that other orthodox and even traditional churchmen interpret it differently.
It does us, as the body of Christ, no good for you to declare the matter settled, especially when even the CDWDS doesn’t consider it so. There are arguments on both sides. There are faithful priests and laymen on both sides. We need to have a mutually respectful conversation about it and not devolve further into entrenchment.
One thing is clear, and it is that the ministers of communion are the ones who are empowered to make the decision for themselves and those they minister to, until we have a definitive ruling on the matter. That’s why it is fine for Fr. Sticha to choose not to bless, and it is fine for those who choose to do it.
It is worth pointing out that EVERYONE at Mass get’s blessed – besides any other spiritual benefits of attending – at the end EVERYONE is instructed “Bow your head and pray for God’s blessing” after which the Priest blesses EVERYONE. No additional blessing is desirable or necessary.
Father, you have my vote too. This is long over-due. Thank you for writing it.
Father, I thank God for you. The more our liturgy is about Him, the better for all of us! It takes much courage for you to deny your parishioners something they have come to expect. Thank you.
I agree with Fr. in this matter. I was an adult convert to the Church, and I did indeed spend many months NOT going forward to Communion because I was not so much as an RCIA attendee (having missed the “deadline” until fall). I wept throughout Communion many Sundays. Did I feel I was missing something? Did I feel apart? Did I ache and long? YES — because there really was something — wait, SOMEONE — beautiful that I was truly lacking. “As the deer longs for running streams…” Two cities and three parishes later, my hunger and thirst were finally satisfied.
Like many of my peers, I didn’t wait for legal drinking age, didn’t wait for my wedding night. That *not* waiting left me with certain regrets. But I don’t for a moment regret that I had to wait to come forward.
Hello Father, I am not from your parish or your diocese. I read an excerpt of this at Fr. Z’s blog so I popped over to read the rest. I would like to inform you that I come from a rather loosey-goosey parish that does all sorts of things (including letting people traipse around wafting bowls of incense in the air on feast days). So we are not super-Traditional in any sense of the word. But our pastor does not bless children coming up with their parents for Communion, and neither do our EHMCs, and it is not traumatic for anyone concerned. Our children are fine and do not seem to suffer any sort of deprivation.
I just wish there would be some specific official directive so as to have consistency. At our parish, the priests and EMHCs do bless the kids; we can’t exactly decline (though one priest doesn’t seem altogether happy with it, but he’s the assistant so…) so we just go with it, wincing sometimes at certain methods employed by a few of the EMHCs, but not stressing about it much. But then when we visit other parishes where they don’t bless in the Communion line, we have to make sure we explain to the kids first as they now expect to be blessed then.
I’d be fine if the practice ended but if the CDW (mentioned at Deacon’s Bench) approves it, that’s fine with me too; I just wish it would be all or nothing.
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Thank you.
We’re all ignorning the 100 pound gorilla in the room; that is, it’s not just children. This practice — which may, I guess, be well-intended — has led to all kinds of people coming up for “blessings.” Non-Catholics, Catholics not disposed for Communion, etc. I’ve had 80 year old ladies come up with their arms crossed over their chest. It makes no sense.
I think this is, at least in part, the result of the Ushers feeling the need to herd the people out of their pews, row-by-row — as if the people couldn’t figure out how to form a straight line without their help. Those who are not disposed for Holy Communion feel that if they don’t “fall into line” they will be an inconvenience to those around them. The Ushers should stop the line-letting, and go to the spot where they are needed: next to the priest, deacon or extraordinary minister ready to address anybody who palms or pockets the host without consuming it. That is the true role for the Usher.
Just my humble opinion.
Deacon Jim
Wow, so let me get this straight… an adult can only worthily receive communion if they have the heart of a child and yet a child is not even worthy of a simple blessing!!! Sounds like the well-intentioned jansenism that “protected” the eucharist from us unworthy sinners for so many years.
(*sigh*)
Manuel: could you please go back and read Father’s original post, and the (many) comments that follow? No one is saying that “a child is not worthy of a blessing”; the entire issue is that Father has no authority to bless ANYONE (read: child, octogenarian, teenager, middle-aged CEO, etc., etc.) in the line for Holy Communion! The reason Father mentions children specifically is most likely because children are the most frequent ones to be “marched up for a blessing” (or carried up) in the Communion line by misguided-but-eager parents… many of whom are far more concerned with the “Aww… isn’t that cute?” effect than they are with finding out what is truly right and allowed.
Honestly! If you’ll forgive a parody of your last sentence: your sentiments sound like the well-intentioned liberalism which gave rise to the heretical over-reaction of Jansenism in the first place.
Everybody keeps talking about children receiving a blessing and Jesus saying “let the children come to me.” Nobody is disputing either of these things. There is simply a time and place for everything — and distribution of Holy Communion is neither the time nor place. Minutes later, while walking out of Mass, while walking into Mass, while the Pastor is visiting the Religious Ed classes, et cetera, et cetera.
That is the issue. Not “whether” children are entitled to a blessing … but “when” that blessing is going to be given.
I am sorry for the hasty accusation of jansenism. Father, I do understand the frustration of having something so beautiful as the liturgy be subject to such sacrilege over the years. I commend you Father on your desire to protect the liturgy however I feel it unfortunate that in reaction to widespread abuse the baby should be literally thrown out with the bathwater. I do not condone children gathering in the sanctuary nor do I let mine leave the mass for children’s liturgy however I think that you are being more dogmatic then the Spirit of Christ permits on this issue regarding the blessing of children. Children have a pre-eminent right to approach the Presence of Christ unhindered, and this right is not the result of present-day entitlement but as a result of basic Gospel understanding. To deny the right of every catholic to approach the Head of of the Body to which they are a member does not reflect the actual record of Christ’s approachability in the Gospels. And as for the objections to those who cross their arms to receive a blessing: they are expressing the communion that they feel with the Church which for whatever reason they at that time cannot fully partake in,and they express it much more surely then those who sit in the pews. They are Christ’s sheep approaching Christ’s Presence and this is a beautiful act of faith in the Eucharist very unlike the libertine abuses that placed community over Christ. Sitting in the pew during communion could be just as likely an act of indifference to the Presence as anything else…but going up with your hands crossed is an act of recognition of one’s unworthiness to receive something so eminently necessary for spiritual life.
Your language “you despise blessing children” is unfortunate and under no circumstance would have ever been uttered by Christ.
Thankyou for protecting the Eucharist but remember that Christ felt no need to be protected from children or sinners approaching with humility. Let them at least have the “scraps that fall from the table” as Christ heard the pagan woman say before he granted her wish.
Be Christ… Father, read hearts before canons and lead as a shepherd rather than a cartographer.
Manuel, put a sock in it dude…father is only speaking about blessings during communion, which he argues goes against the liturgy per the document he mentions, I would venture to think that prior to VII there were no blessings during communion during the Latin Mass, so what’s the beef? as someone has already indicated there’s a general blessing at the end of mass, plus the priest is available at the end of mass to give blessings, accept the churches teaching and more on.
Amen, Manuel.
My response:
http://romishpotpourri.blogspot.com/2012/04/please-give-my-kids-their-spiritual.html
And a follow up:
http://romishpotpourri.blogspot.com/2012/04/more-on-why-children-should-be-blessed.html
I feel sorry for this priest’s parishioners. He obviosly knows the letter of the law, but not the spirit of the law.
Wow, way to commit an ad hominem fallacy. Rather than discussing the points he’s making, let’s just attack him directly.
Fr. Sticha;
Thanks for giving your life to the church. You are very courageous. JPII would have been proud of you.
Why they should not;
1) No bishop or priest is allowed to give a blessing at that time. So I would assume it is sinful for them to do so.
2) It is very unsanitary for someone handling food to touch multiple heads in the process.
Tom Lanter
Blessings are a sin?
I just witnessed 500+ kiss the base of the cross on good Friday – not sure hygiene is a good argument for mass practices.
Bill, the adoration of the Cross on Good Friday is part of the ritual. Imparting blessings in lieu of distributing Holy Communion is not. You are confusing the two.
Michelle,
I understand the difference. I was referring to the comment that the priest giving a blessing would be considered sinful. Then he mentioned the hygiene of touching heads and then the Eucharist. That doesn’t hold up to me – as we all kiss the cross and certainly more germs there than touching a few kid’s heads. Those arguements don’t make sense to me.
And if the priest should not be giving a blessing, as Father rightly says, how much more should the extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion not give a “blessing”! This is no small problem. Thank you, Father!
Anyone can give a blessing and I think it’s really beautiful that when people come up to receive Our Lord in the Eucharist, the children they have with them can be blessed by the same person who has given their parent/carer Holy Communion.
You raise an even bigger problem of an overabundance of EMs…
No, it is not everyone’s role to bless, which is why the misguided ‘raise your hands to bless so-and-so’ is detracting from the priest whose hands were consecrated for it. Priests bless their congregants, parents can bless their kids (abeit slightly differently) because they are the heads of their ‘domestic church’. EMs don’t fill either of those roles.
Good grief.
Why do all the complaints (against Fr. Sticha and his post) on this thread seem to revolve around the idea of “I want what I want when I want it, because I want it, and if you don’t give it, you’re not being like Jesus”?
If you cannot wait 10-15 minutes in order to have your own blessed little cherub(s) blessed by Father at the end of Mass (along with everyone else)… or, if that fails to satisfy, to wait 5 more minutes and ask Father to bless your little cherub(s) individually, after Mass, then you have some spiritual house-cleaning and virtue-building to do. That sort of attitude is reminiscent not of spiritual zeal, but of being entitlement-minded and spoiled.
If anyone can cite even one word of Fr. Sticha’s in which he says (or even suggests) that he will refuse to bless children outside of Mass (within reason–I assume that even your passion for blessings would allow Father uninterrupted time to shower, eat, sleep, pray his Divine Office, and the like?), then I’ll happily repent of my comments in dust and ashes. Otherwise, would the complainers please re-think their comments? As it stands now, they’re coming across as sentimental, pseudo-piety-covered nonsense.
The only pseudo-peity is yours. And Fr. Sticha’s position is the one that is entitlement-minded. No one is claiming that children are “entitled” to a blessing, any more than anyone receiving the Eucharist is “entitled” to do so. The issue of blessings in the Communion line is a small one, but Father’s position reveals a larger misunderstanding of the sacraments and liturgy.
He thinks that he is taking a step towards curing society’s “something for nothing” attitude? Then he is in the wrong vocation. Does he also refuse to baptize infants? With his line of thinking, he has to. Why should an infant get the “something” of having original sin removed from his/her soul for nothing? Does Fr. Sticha refuse absolution in the confessional to anyone who doesn’t guarantee that it will be the final confession of their life? We come into the confessional with “nothing”, other than a “firm resolution to sin no more”, which is usually about as firm as a sand castle. If our resolution was worth anything, we would only need Reconciliation once. Why should anyone get the “something” of absolution for nothing?
If you think this is ‘sentimental’, you are woefully lacking in understanding of the sacraments. If you think that that the woman who was healed by touching the hem of Jesus’ garments was having a “touchy-feely” experience, then you are woefully lacking in “spiritual zeal”. And if you think that someone unable to receive the Eucharist for any reason (ESPECIALLY for the reason of being too young) isn’t blessed beyond our understanding by the mere close proximity to The Real Presence of Jesus, far more than the priest’s final blessing of the liturgy, then you have some spiritual house-cleaning and virtue building to do.
Any priest who thinks his vocation is primarily to serve the documents of the Second Vatican Council should do us all a favor and become a hermit, spending his days in prayer for the Church rather than inflicting further damage on her.
Actually, the ones who do the most damage to the Church are those priests (and, in some cases, bishops), who thumb their noses at the authoritative documents of the Church and treat the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as their own personal property.
T. J., if the kid is blessed beyond understanding by the mere proximity to the Real Presence (which I agree), how is a priest (or EM) going to add something more special to that?
I would agree that no one is entitled to the Eucharist. Christ bids us come, but we must do the work of preparing ourselves to receive him. If we don’t do that, no matter the age, we should refrain from Communion. Anyone who can sit in the pew and pray ought to; those who can’t (infants and young children) should go with their parents but don’t need something in place of receiving, which they aren’t prepared for yet.
If the Pope can extend a touching blessing to a child in his audience, why is it not authorized elsewhere. I’ve seen him do it many times. Cardinal Dolan does it all the time.
Charles,
When you refer to the Holy Father “extending a touching blessing to a child in his audience”, was that during the distribution of Holy Communion at a Mass? If not, then it really wouldn’t apply to this situation.
Thank you, Father, this was very edifying. I have always smiled when the children are blessed at Communion, but having read this post, I agree with you completely. I hope you don’t listen to the people accusing you of not having the “spirit” of the law. It’s people like you, who uphold the letter of the law with good intent, that allow the spirit to breathe freely.
But the Spirit doesn’t breathe freely when you put the law above its intent. Listen to what you’re saying. It’s more important to fulfill the spirit of the law than to let grace abound. But Jesus took just the opposite view. Sure he respected the Sabbath but he also declared that man is not made for the Sabbath but vice versa. He also bid the children come to him even when the disciples–having lost sight of grace in protecting propriety–tried to shun them from meeting their great Master and God. This post–and its defenders–exhibit so little grace and gratitude for the great outpouring of love that is God and his Son. It’s all about keeping the letter of the law. Read your Bibles, people.
Should read: “It’s more important to fulfill the letter of the law than to let grace abound.”
I have written extensively on the matter:
http://benedictgal-lexorandilexcredendi.blogspot.com/2010/12/why-we-form-line.html
and
http://benedictgal-lexorandilexcredendi.blogspot.com/2012/01/perpetuating-bad-liturgical-habits.html
Manuel, I think that these explanations might help you. Before you start throwing stones at Fr. Cory, it may do you well to study the matter.
God bless you.
Fr. Cory – I am surprised by the way you discuss entitlement. In no way, shape or form do I feel “entitled” to the Eucharist. I like to think you did not intend to imply that by the method/works of waiting children earn the ability to receive the Eucharist. It will always be a gift of God.
I completely agree with the premise that it is our duty to be obedient in the liturgy. While I have never met Fr Cory, it has been my unfortunate experience that priests who loudly declare their obedience to the liturgy only do so when they agree with it. When they disagree, it is convenient to not study or wrestle with the situation. I fear that is more true of me than I wish to admit.
I think Father Sticha just wants to cut the communion line down so we can all get out of church faster. Heh heh.
Or remove all the unneccesary EMs which I am all for
I am surprised that you have all that extra time to get so worked up about such a such a minor goodwill action of support or encouragement for a young person. Perhaps we should be focusing on a strategies to get these children and their parents into church for active and regular participation in the sacraments. An individual blessing or acknowledgement is hardly a change of liturgy. Some thoughts from Ontario Canada
Is it not a matter of unity? Some responses have touched the issue, but they fail to elaborate. The way I see it, is those who are left in the pews choose to exclude themselves from the Body of Christ for whatever reason. I know words fail to do justice for what I wish to convey here… so I will do the best that my language allows. The blessing bestows more than just grace, as some have stated, the blessing allows for communion, in a sense, with those who are receiving God’s wonderful gift of Himself. While there is no question as to which is greater, I fear the implications of Father’s statement are rather significant. I think the yearning for the Sacrament will still be there if blessings are given (and I can’t imagine the “get something out of it” attitude if they even have any idea what a blessing truly is or begin to understand God’s grace), but will they still have that yearning, will that still be there if they are not given?
The Church is our home, and it should be like going home for the holiday, you take your kids, you wear something nice, and it’s familiar and wonderful. When we enter this home, we (who have received our First Communion which is not earned or worked for in the sense some have stated, but a gift) are able to come and sit at the table and eat with Abba, Dada, and while we do need to use our “manners” (be respectful), will we not even let our children sit on the floor of the kitchen while we share this meal? No! We will leave them in the living room while we embrace our Abba. Is it not their Abba too? No! They are not welcome. The Liturgy of the Eucharist is not for children. Perhaps, you should join my parish priest who sadly believes that young children should not be in mass if they could possibly be disruptive, and if you have a disruptive child or may need to nurse your baby during mass you are given a “free pass” to stay home and not attend, not step out, but just don’t come. We are a family. We are all part of the Body of Christ, and each of us have our own role to play from the newly conceived child in the womb to the elderly that some in our society say we should euthanize. How do you suggest larger life issues ever be resolve when we don’t even respect our own children enough to welcome them and include them in our mass? How will they know that they are a part of something great when we don’t give them these blessings? God is great, and they need to be a part of “the source and summit of Christian life.” If you say no blessing, what do you suggest? Or do you agree with my parish priest… just don’t bring them; they are not welcome!
For the record, one of our Bishop even blesses children, and I’ve stood next to him, as an EOM and witnessed him bless the children, and I would be surprised if all of them didn’t practice this blessing.
Lastly, one of the Lutheran branches, the Wisconsin Synod, has kicked people out of their church for not being Wisconsin Synod. Is this the path that we are headed down? Please reply because I’m at a loss as to how so many people seem to be in favor of refusing God’s grace and excluding children in the Gift, while in a minor way, that God has given us.
Trying to create a communion by everyone going forward would be out of line if say, a person refrains in the pew because he committed a mortal sin. In that case, he separated himself from Christ and the Body, and must be reconciled first. But I think you/America read too much into receiving Holy Communion (or at least going forward) and being in communion as the Body of Christ. Go to any other country (just returned from Mexico but also have been to Britain, France, Spain, Italy, Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, Norway, Denmark, etc etc) and anyone not disposed to receive remains in the pew. Thanks to our ushers and the fact that nearly everyone goes forward, one is conspicuous if they remain in the pew but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Fr. Cory is my Priest and while I don’t totally agree (I was instructed in RCIA to go up with arms crossed for blessing) I do see his point of view. Fr. Cory is a good man and very concerned with my faith journey, and with all of his flock. I look to scripture for my personal belief on this matter; Matthew 18:5 and Mark 9:37 pretty much sums it up. But even so, Father Cory is our priest and I follow his lead. I didn’t agree with heavier matters of his predecessor and still kept my faith. God bless!
Thank you Father.
As mentioned in the comments, everyone is blessed at the end of mass by the priest. And as you mentioned Father, this is not something that is allowed at this time of the mass. These two facts should be enough for anyone to decide this issue. If the Church changes the rules and allows it, then great, but that hasnt happened yet.
This is the same as the hand holding during the Our Father (with the weird little uplift at the end). It is not to be done. We need to follow the rules people!
I sometimes bring a small child in my arms (because I must) when I recieve communion. I try to at least go to the line with a priest and not one of the 10,000 (not so)extraordinary ministers. But when I do, they try to bless my child! It is all I can do to try to focus on Jesus in that moment and not this sillines. Why do they try to do the blessing like the priest does? People say that this is not a big deal. But if that is the case, then it shouldnt be a big deal for the USCCB or the Pope to put an end to it either. If I want a woman in a white robe to “bless” my child, I will have my wife do it at home. These EMHCs are out of line.
How can you possibly describe the desire of parents who want their small children to receive a blessing while they receive Our Lord in the Eucharist as ‘silliness’?
Sexism is a sin. Jesus was never sexist and in a culture where women were the property of their husband or nearest male relative and were not allowed to give evidence in a court of law, he chose to announce the Good News of his Resurrection through a woman.
Well, I have to say that I disagree with you on this one, Fr. Cory … even if you are my superior in such matters, as the head-liturgist of my diocese! 🙂
[for others, Fr. Cory and I both serve in Eastern Montana, and are good friends]
I did write a response over at NTM — http://newtheologicalmovement.blogspot.com/2012/04/whats-wrong-with-blessing-children-in.html
I guess that I see this issue as coming up within the context of what parents are to do, now that the Church is following the best of the Catholic spiritual tradition (saints like de Sales and Vianney) in encouraging adults to come to Communion frequently.
If both parents come up for Communion, then I don’t expect that toddlers and infants will be left in the pews … and so the priest has to figure out what to do with these little ones when they come forward.
Baptized children are, after all, in communion with the mystical body of Christ through the virtues of faith and charity … is it any great harm for them to participate in some aspect of the Communion rite? +
Still, every priest (even if I don’t agree with him in theory 🙂 ) has the right and duty to regulate matters in his own parish according to the light of his own conscience! +
Hello Father,
you said, “If both parents come up for Communion, then I don’t expect that toddlers and infants will be left in the pews … and so the priest has to figure out what to do with these little ones when they come forward.”
The solution is quite simple: nothing. The priest doesn’t have to do anything but keep on distributing communion to those of age and condition to receive. I attend TLM parish (FSSP) where there are very many children. Obviously parents cannot leave their younger children and babies in the pews, both for their safety and for prevention of mischief, so they bring them up with them. Babies are carried, and their hands and arms are held carefully as the parent receives communion (on the tongue always), since babies, as we all know, love to reach out and grab things; toddlers and young children simply walk up with their parents, kneel or stand at the altar rail, wait until the parents have received, and walk (or sometimes run, being children) back with them. I don’t have children, but my best friend has six, and as we both sing in the choir, I generally take one of hers with me at communion time to help out. Evelyn is only three (and no angel, though I love her to bits), but knows to cross her arms on her chest to prevent any confusion. In all my years of attending the TLM, I have never seen a child upset at not receiving a blessing, or express any feeling of having been left out or treated as unimportant. I’m pretty sure it’s only the parents who are used to special treatment for their children who feel this. The children themselves have no such anxiety, and are quite content to wait until they are able to receive communion.
To sum up: bringing a child up to the communion rail does not necessitate that the child receive anything, blessing or otherwise, and still nobody’s feelings get hurt.
That is interesting … as best as I can remember, at every parish run by the FSSP that I have attended (a good number, in several countries), the priests of the Fraternity blessed the children — I myself have also done this when celebrating at these parishes and also when offering the TLM in other parishes.
Quite a bit of diversity on the matter, for sure!
“as best as I can remember, at every parish run by the FSSP that I have attended (a good number, in several countries), the priests of the Fraternity blessed the children”
Really? I’ve been attending the TLM almost exclusively for 22 years, in several parishes across North America, and have never seen a child receive a blessing during communion. It is not the place or the time. Odd that we should have such different experiences.
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This post really set me back a bit. It is thought like this that in my personal life has placed a wedge between the Church and the faithful. My own wife is struggling with her Catholicism because of these “defenders” of Church doctrine. Do you not see and understand how you are denying the very idea of Christ’s teachings – love, inclusion, understanding. All this talk about parsing scripture is also befuddling. Do we not realize how our earliest Church father’s worshiped? In homes, real homes. Surrounded by men, women, and children. We as a church created great cathedrals in honor of our Lord. We then chose to adapt our practices to the architecture. Don’t get me wrong, I love the grand and ornateness of a catholic church. However, we would be wise to remember that the faith came first and the architecture later. We now want to use our creating of pews and aisles to dictate who can travel where during a mass? We want to believe that a priest – Christ’s apostle on Earth – is to deny a child a sense of blessing b/c it will spoil them? Because someone at some point made a vague rule? If we are about strict adherence to rules of the mass, then we all should favor petitioning for change on this particular one. If there is one place in the world where a child should feel included rather than denied, it is at mass.
Im disappointed you feel this way. In my opinion, it’s this archaic attitude that drives many thinking Catholics away from the church, not towards it. I’m sad you feel this way…
Children are the future Church. If you don’t bless them, maybe there will not be a congregation in the future. The Catholic Church is so stict and so sexist that even my 15 year old won’t go anymore.
Michele, I’m sorry to hear that your daughter finds the Church strict and sexist. Perhaps it would help her to understand the reasons behind the rules, as the Church does nothing without good reason. You could find out why only men can be priests, for example, and help her to understand that there is nothing sexist about it. In fact, as a woman I feel most honoured by the Catholic faith. What other religion gives women so much respect and authority? Our greatest saint is a woman, we have female doctors of the church, convents were the first places women could live independently of men, the first female university professors in the world were given their jobs directly by the pope… I could go on.
But as for your other charge, that forbidding blessings during communion time for children will mean a lack of future congregation, I call bogus. These blessings are a fairly modern innovation, within the last few decades, as is the general loosening of the rules, and what do we have? Almost no religious vocations from children raised in those decades, and very few of them growing up even to stay practising Catholics! Making everything inclusive and easy does nothing to strengthen the faith of the young; it makes it uninteresting and unimportant, something that they need not bother with when they grow up. The evidence is there at every Mass that is attended almost solely by white-haired old ladies and a very few bored-looking teenagers with their moms. There’s a gigantic generation gap in Mass attendance that “sexism” and “strictness” are absolutely not responsible for; quite the opposite.
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Given that I’m Protestant, my opinion won’t matter to the writer, but I have to challenge his suggestion that giving blessings to children is probably more about making their parents or grandparents feel good. giving children blessings When I give simple blessings to children during communion, I’ve seen awe in their eyes that bolsters my own faith. A recent confirmand said she wasn’t sure she wanted to be confirmed if it meant having to give up being blessed. Kids get it.
I wonder what Jesus would have done? I suspect I know the answer and I suspect it wouldn’t have included the word refusal. I feel sorry for you because you clearly don’t understand liturgy. It’s not a performance by the priest – it’s an opportunity to worship God with the priest enabling the congregation to feel empowered to worship. People should be able to worship in ways that they are comfortable with.
I am in my mid 40s and remember the church of my childhood. I remember quite a dark, forbidding liturgy with priests who were very detached from the congregation and with an emphasis on choreographed liturgy rather than a spontaneous expression of one’s relationship with God.
I remember the same, it does not leave a good impression.
I attend the same and I find it rather uplifting. I’ve found that ‘spontaneous expressions of one’s relationship with God’, code for I want to do want I think is best, not the Church, often are more about the priest and lay, the ‘production’ of the Mass rather than the ‘Holy Sacrifice’ of the Mass.
Both sides of this debate have merit and some thoughtful responses have been posted. Personally, I do not have a problem with the blessing. In fact I never gave it much thought until reading this discussion. Should I be paying closer attention to these fairly subtle additions to the liturgy? I don’t know. However, I am fairly certain that the day the Church starts doing the fashionable thing or telling people what they want to hear just to keep the pews filled is the day it is no longer worthy of its commission..
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Get over yourself, man.
Thank God an ounce of mother is worth more than a ton of clergy.
I would like to give you something to ponder. I seem to remember something about Jesus wanting the little children to come to him. What is so terribly wrong about providing a blessing to the little children, are we not receiving a blessing of great magnitude when we receive the body of Christ? One of the things I find extremely disturbing about the hierarchy of the Church is the inflexibility. We spend so much time adhering to ritual and not enough time living the caring, welcoming, call of Jesus. We want to welcome children and make them feel part of the Mass, not continue to alienate them for the sake of ritual. I feel you are off base on this one!
Amen Father! To all the naysayers…. The “inclusiveness” of the past 40 years is called Protest-ant infiltration, i.e. Relativism! Take your young ones to the COMMUNION RAIL with you and let them wonder about and yearn for the Mystery of the Sacrament that you recieve. It opens the doorway to Holy conversation after Holy Mass…….we need more Priests like you. In my prayers
I am appalled at this, it is nonsense. Of all places a child should be included in the mass if possible. The child will wait to receive communion until he is of age, but until then encourage him and show him what he has to look forward to.
Shari Siampaus
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Wow. Talk about straining out gnats and swallowing camels – this is the very definition of it.
There is a disappointing lack of humility present in the vitriol of this thread and a lack of respect for the priesthood in general. After some brief searching, I see that more “progressive” areas of the blogosphere have directed their animus toward you, Father. Cacophonic as so many angry voices can be, there are many, many more who agree with you, Father. We have seen too much confusion, abuse, and relativization of our faith to not wish that all our priests were doing similarly.
God bless you abundantly with an outpouring of grace this Easter!
John 15:20
For the record, my children were never routinely blessed at Communion. If they were with me and a priest or deacon blessed them, that was on them. We worked hard to prepare them for their First Communions. I am, however, uncomfortable with the idea of being ” special” enough for Holy Communion. We can never be ” special” enough to recieve the !iving God. We can never earn that right. Like all grace it is His free gift.
I don’t advocate giving First Holy Communiontoyou ger children or those without proper preparation but, to be honest, their baptismal innocence probably makes them more ” worthy” to receive Our Lord than I’ll ever be again. I’m not comfortable with implications that they are somehow second -class members of the Body of Christ.
Whether they are blessed or not, that’s a matter for those with more knowledge and authority than me. Please don’ t act as if they are any less ” worthy” than anyo e else in the chur h.
Just bless them for God’s sake. How dare you withhold it?
Thank you Father! This is something I see as totally unnecessary (blessings). It drives me crazy if Extraordinary Eucharistic Ministers bless my kids – I do that every day. I try to only go to deacons or priests – my kids do get blessed, b/c I dare not leave them in the pew by themselves! LOL I do think of the blessing of those not receiving and children as more protestant. Sorry if I’m offending – not meaning to; just giving my opinion. Thank you again Father! I hope your parishioners understand 🙂
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