I’ve been thinking more and more about my concerns around giving special blessings to children at Mass. There are a number of people here who are continuing to express concern because of my stance on not blessing children in the communion line. To be clear, this is a position taken not out of spite, but out of a respect for the liturgy and for the documents of the Second Vatican Council. In paragraph 22, Sacrosanctum Concilium states, “Therefore no other person, even if he be a priest, may add, remove, or change anything in the liturgy on his own authority.” A priest does not have the authority to add a blessing to the liturgy for anyone, because a priest does not have the authority to add anything to the liturgy. It doesn’t matter if other priests go beyond their authority and do it in disobedience. In my mind, it is inappropriate, and I will not. Period.
Of course, people don’t like to hear that. They think it makes the kids feel “special” that they receive this blessing. (As an aside, I think the parents and grandparents get the warm-fuzzies more than the kids do.) Of course, they can’t be blamed. For 30+ years, they’ve been fed a mindset that the liturgy is malleable to whatever we want to do with it. Blessing for kids? Sure, we can add that right during Communion. Having kids come up for the homily and sit with the priest on the sanctuary steps? Sure, we can do that. Holding hands during the Our Father and running around the nave greeting people during the Sign of Peace? Absolutely! Whatever makes you feel good!
As I’ve studied more about the theology of the liturgy, I’ve come to the realization that this “feel good” approach is sending the wrong message about the liturgy. I’ve also become concerned that this has dangerously damaged their relationship with God, and they are blissfully unaware that any damage has been done. Instead of liturgy being the community focusing their minds and hearts on worship of God, it has become a social activity, focusing on ourselves. Now, we don’t come to liturgy to turn to God, but to ourselves. For this reason alone, I despise blessing children in the Communion line (and yes, I chose that strong language very carefully), and encourage other priests to stop immediately.
There’s another reason, more cultural, that should be of concern to these same parents and grandparents: the culture of entitlement. One of the arguments frequently given in defense of blessing children is, “They feel like they get something.” Yes, because we wouldn’t want our children to learn how to do something without getting something in return.
We live in a culture of entitlement, where a large percentage of the population expects to get something for nothing. There is a large population in the United States and other countries who believe that they are entitled to anything and everything their hearts desire without any commitment or work on their part. They should “get something” for just being there. Is that the message we want to give our children in the Church? I don’t, and firmly hope that parents and grandparents don’t want to send that message either. Unfortunately, this mindset that children need to “get something” at Communion time only enforces this idea.
Now, will stopping the blessings of children at Communion cure that? No, not on its own, but it’s a first step. It’s an opportunity for parents to teach children that there are some things you just have to wait for. Some things are so important that you have to get ready for them. Some things you may even have to work for. Receiving Holy Communion is one of those things. You have to wait until you’re old enough. You have to prepare to receive. It’s not something that is just given to you. One day you will be able to receive, and I hope that will be a joyful day, but you’ll need to wait until then.
Parents and grandparents, I beg you: work with me on this! Please don’t continue to argue about it. My decision is made, the issue is done. This is truly done in the best interest of your children and grandchildren, as well as for you. Use this opportunity to help the children to see how special and important receiving Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament truly is. Help them to see that the liturgy is about worship of God, and not us getting something and feeling good. Then, when they can come forward to receive Holy Communion for the first time, they will truly understand what it means to be special enough to receive Our Lord.
As the Mother of 2 girls I 100% agree.
Many Blessings,
Mel
There is also another level to this. It also diminishes the importance of the final blessing. The thing is everybody goes away from Mass with a priestly blessing regardless of whether they receive Communion or not. Maybe a key is to also teach the reality of the final blessing.
That’s a very good point as well. IMO, the focus on giving children blessings during Communion is to make them feel “special” and “give them something”, not the blessing itself. The blessing is unimportant to these folks. I actually had one parishioner say, “Oh, well, do the blessings after Communion, before the closing procession, and give the kids gummy bears too.” I liked that idea even less.
As long as I can get ashes on Ash Wednesday, I’m good.
100% dead on Father :)…
Well said, Thank you!
Thank you father, for the explanation. I often wondered why some do some don’t. Nothing as good as a priest who has conviction and a solid foundation for his reasoning. Keep up the good work. And leave the “gummy bears” at home.
And yet I tend to believe Jesus would say let the children come to him. Who are you to say a child should not be blessed? Then again, why be blessed by someone who lacks Christ’s love of the child’s spirit. Also, nothing you can do entitles you to the Eucharist either. Christ freely gives this to us, a way to be in communion with him. I hope you pray about this.
“And yet I tend to believe Jesus would say let the children come to him. ”
Not during the Last Supper. He didn’t call any kids to walk across the water to Him, either.
“Who are you to say a child should not be blessed?”
He’s a priest reading the rubrics for how to say Mass, and the Church documents for Communion reception. Mother Church is the voice of Christ, and a lot of people have been shutting her up instead of listening to her. It’s good that a priest should do what his Mother Church says, instead. (It’s even a sign of a childlike, teachable soul.)
Father maybe should pick his words more carefully, but then, Jesus had his moments too.
Hmmmm … Why so much hate in your heart? Can you not accept the Canons of the Church? Must you interpret the Word in your own fashion, ignoring the Magesterium of the Church? I shall pray for you.
I don’t see this as hate at all. He’s merely doing what Holy Mother Church as decreed as proper during Holy Communion. It’s not a feel good thing. You are receiving your King. Blessings are always given at the end of Mass for all to receive.
Plemmen was talking to Questioning a Priest above.
So… because Jesus said “let the children come to me” then ANYTHING GOES? No rules, no guidelines, no rubrics whatsoever. If a parent wants their kid to sit criss-cross-apple-sauce on top of the altar all throughout Mass, then we need to allow it because, after all … Jesus said, “let the children come to me.” I really don’t think that is what he meant. Yes, children need to come to church; yes, children need to be given attention — especially from the clergy. But, most importantly, the children need to be exposed to PROPER LITURGY. Let them learn: Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi.
Really? It’s just a blessing. I think Jesus would be ok with it. He did it all the time.
Not during Holy Communion.
Luke 18:16
Luke 22:14.
Father
The reason I like my children blessed is not that I want them to *feel* they got something out of it. I want the graces that come with those blessings. In other words, I want them to get something out of it. Grace is something free. We don’t have to “earn it”. It is true that we obtain grace in doing good works, but you don’t have to do good works to get a blessing. It’s a free gift.
I’m not arguing the point of liturgy– I don’t know where the truth lies on that matter. But blessings are something we should be doing more often, precisely because of what they offer: grace to perfect ourselves.
“But blessings are something we should be doing more often, precisely because of what they offer: grace to perfect ourselves.”
This is why a blessing is given to the entire congregation (well, those who stay around that long…) at the end of Mass.
Would it be wrong to be blessed twice?
Why is wrong to only be blessed once?
You don’t need a priest to bestow a blessing. Parents should bless their children at every opportunity. In fact, mine refuse to go to bed without a blessing from me. If you want the priest’s blessing, there’s an opportunity for it at the end of every Mass – just not during Communion.
A priestly blessing seems to have more weight. And I do bless my kids at night.
Father, I’m a traditional Catholic, and I do indeed see where you’re coming from. Aah, there’s some wiggle-room here, but, sadly at this time, only at the Traditional Latin Mass. Today at the COMMUNION RAIL, there were little ones kneeling by their parents. When the priest came to the children, he momentarily rested the base of the ciborium on their heads. The children I saw bowed their heads in great reverence. It was moving for all involved, and I believe quite proper. The BIG problem with priests blessing children in the Communion line is that the Extraordinary Ministers think they can do it also.
Solution: Get back to the Communion rail and get rid of the EMs.
Excellent Post Father!
Pingback: A priest on giving blessings at Communion time | Fr. Z's Blog – What Does The Prayer Really Say?
Good for you, Father.
Fr. Cory, I so agree with you.
To those who disagree, you are all seeming to totally ignore what Sacrosanctum Concilium states, as Father included above. Th Church lays down how the Mass is to be celebrated and we really need to submit to that.
Furthermore, everyone of us gets blessed at the final blessing. No one needs an individual blessing.
Unfortunately, the virtue of obedience is sadly lacking in today’s world. We should all obey what has been laid down by the Church.
I take my 6 year old up. I don’t expect a blessing for her. Some priests do, some don’t, and I’m ok either way. But she’s little, and in a pew full of big people, she’s very timid and afraid if left alone, even for a few moments. It’s just too big a place for her right now.
I have no right to a blessing for my daughter during Mass, nor any expectation.
oh Father, you are just a meanie…NOT!
I agree with you 100%, but you know how a certain percentage will react. I will say a prayer for you, and a prayer of thanks that there are fine, thoughtful priests like you.
Pingback: A priest writes: “Why I refuse to bless children at communion” « The Deacon's Bench
Just what I was looking at to share with a priest. Another important point is the fact that when a priest gives a child a blessing his hands have just handled the blessed Eucharist, would there be particles on his hand, they would be lost. Also, too many priests are too smiley and many times the child is squirmy, it is not the time for them to forge a relationship with Father-it becomes overdramatized and the sense of the reverence of the moment is lost. …not really what I want to teach my child(ren). Unfortunately we need to learn there is a time a place for everything–the one sense our society has lost. Thanks for your great insight.
Everybody gets blessed at Mass. Having the kids go up for a blessing at Communion is just silly.
Thank you so much for this, Father! As a convert, this was one of the most puzzling aspects of the Mass to me. I could never quite understand why some priests did this, but I couldn’t find anything about it in the GIRM.
It is depressing to read the comments of so many people who think that anything that is worth doing, should therefore be done during the liturgy whenever it’s convenient for them personally.
You want to have your child blessed by a priest? I don’t see anywhere in this post where Father says that shouldn’t be done. (For example, QUestioning a Priest says, “Who are you to say a child should not be blessed?” If that’s really your takeaway from Father’s post, you really need to read it again, this time with your head screwed on.) What he says is that it’s an illicit innovation to demand a blessing during this particular part of the liturgy. It’s also great to care for the sick, which Jesus did quite a lot, but that doesn’t mean that if we decide to just form a line and start bringing the sick up to the priest to receive an Anointing during, say, the Offeratory, it would be remotely appropriate. There are times and places for all good things in the Church, and she has given us more than enough of them. And besides, if it’s so gosh-darned important, just ask for the blessing after Mass, and I’m willing to bet you’ll be instantly accommodated. That this option never occurs to anyone is an indication that they believe they own the liturgy itself, and that it’s just there to give them something they want out of their Sunday–or that they really like the public element of such a blessing, as though it’s their child’s graduation ceremony where everyone gets a little pat on the head, where everybody can see how special they are. These are many of the same people who can’t understand why applause during Mass directed at the choir is not merely out of place, but an actual abomination.
It is a silly and shallow response to say that blessings are good in themselves, and therefore Father is wrong to stick to the demands of the liturgy. What it reveals is that most Catholics have absolutely ZERO sense of liturgical purpose, and less than zero respect for the integrity of the liturgy–less than zero amounting to open hostility. The liturgy is nothing but a bunch of limitations on what they want, and to that extent it’s just a big, mean inconvenience.
As a mother of young children, I support you 100% Father. I want my children to learn this special time in the Mass is all about receiving the true Body and Blood – the source and center and summit, and not anything else. And “blessings” from lay EMHC? Don’t get me started.
If we look back at Father’s post, none of these criticisms hold any water. I would shocked—legitimately appalled—if Fr. Stitcha, or any other priest for that matter, were unwilling to dole out blessings to children ad nauseum outside Mass. Formal, informal, simple, complicated, Latin or English, of course children should get blessings, lots of them and in all forms!
But the inherent propriety of blessing children does not mean that Holy Communion is the appropriate time for imparting them. The priest has a duty, as Fr. Stitcha points out, to follow the liturgical rubrics: a blessing is an important thing, and if it were proper to give them at that time, the Missal would say so. But it doesn’t.
Finally, children certainly can benefit from going forward at Holy Communion, even absent a blessing. They can reverence the Blessed Sacrament and learn, in their simple way, the importance and mystery of the Sacrament. Certainly let the children come to Christ, so that they can learn to love Him.
well said.
I think infants, other children and adults who approach in the communion procession should be acknowledged, perhaps with just a glance, but not blessed. A verbal non-blessing such as “God love you” or “Pray for a spiritual communion” or “Look forward to receiving the Lord one day” or something like that would be fine. It’s very important that the priest’s actions and words not be rude.
Padre, great article and point of view. However, I would change your headline to address EVERYONE not only children, as many adults also come up for a “blessing”. And for those who are quoting Luke 18:16, we are all God’s children, no matter our age. HE IS OUR FATHER!! HIS NAME IS “ABBA”!!
Correct me if I am wrong: I believe that for hundreds (if not thousands) of years, out of deference to the Real Presence, no blessings were given when the Blessed Sacrament was exposed. For example, the priest did not bless water or incense (cf. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/05713a.htm). Even today, if the Blessed Sacrament is exposed after Mass, no final blessing is given. How, then, have we arrived at a state in which a priest, holding the exposed Sacrament in one hand, would dare to give a blessing with the other? Though I firmly believe that the Gates of Hell shall not *prevail* against her, I fear they are dangerously closing in on Holy Mother Church!
excellent point !!!
You are spot on Father. I know of EMHCs doing this. Worse yet they were laying hands on you as though they were ordained. In one case they made the sign of the cross for the blessing using the Blessed Sacrament.
My youngest was always confused on this when I would explain it shouldn’t happen. She would watch priests bless kids and try to figure out why it shouldn’t be done if father is doing it. Our new priest will not bless the kids and put a letter in the bulletin about it. Once my daughter read the letter, she was fine. Never had a pouty face again about sitting in the pew.
Nice to hear that Father Sticha has gets his house in order.
http://catholicpiazza.forumup.co.uk
I think really that parents can bless their own children,is that so father?
I complained to a a priest once that the one of the EMC’s allowed intinction, and was also blessing children. I was so livid I complained, and made myself unpopular for writing to the Bishop.
I don’t go to Mass to get upset over abuses.
God Bless
Pearl.
In response to those who use the WWJD line:
We can sit around and try to guess at what Jesus might or might not do in this particular situation, or we can be obedient to what Christ’s Church tells us to do. Is a priest or deacon giving blessings at this time the end of the world? Probably not. But does it contribute to a variety of issues (idea that liturgy is malleable, lay people giving blessings, being two of them)? Absolutely.
Hey Father,
I understand what you are saying, but if blessings are not to be added during the Liturgy, what about the appropriate times for when a statue is dedicated or blessed? Those aren’t necessarily in the rubrics and you typically have to add those things in?
I agree, we should not add or change the liturgy, but in regards to that particular paragraph in SC (22), after reading the paragraphs that come before and after it, I don’t think it is speaking about blessings or special circumstances. What it is speaking about, in my understanding (I could be wrong; I am just starting out in Major Seminary) is the core rubrics of the Mass e.g. the words of Institution, the prayers, or the Ordo of the Missal.
Could you give some clarification where there are legitimate blessings given during Mass, outside of the final blessing?
1. You’re right. And anybody who’s distributing Communion has no business doing anything of lesser importance at that moment than serving as God’s Throne. (If my chair or car started giving blessings or having conversations instead of bearing me, it wouldn’t be right.)
2. Priests (and deacons) have lots of blessings they can give, though, and you should make it clear that you’re totally happy to bless kids, cars, Rosaries, salt, and so forth. Just not during Mass. You might also point out that parents, grandparents, etc. are permitted to bless kids; the pope’s father blessed his kids every night, IIRC, and it made his kids feel very loved and close to him.
3. Wouldn’t hurt to have some feastday events for families, or encourage people to celebrate child-related feastdays at home.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and you’re allowed to use a carrot as well as a stick!
Oh, and every so often put new holy cards or little prayer leaflets out in the vestibule for everybody, or something special along with the coffee and donuts.
People do like to get “bonus” things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mother Church is generous; it’s good that they should see her that way. You just need to channel things sensibly and usefully, and encourage people to give as well as get, and fast as well as feast.
I think that a distinction needs to be made here. A priest refusing to bless a child is a terrible thing. However, there is a time and a place for everything. When a priest is administering the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, it is not the time for alternate rituals such as blessings of children. The priest must put all his heart and soul into that most solemn and sacred task of administering the Blessed Sacrament. Doing other things such as blessings is a distraction from something that needs 100% attention first. If the parents of the child desire a special blessing for their child, before or after Mass would be a more appropriate time. I don’t believe this priest was saying children shouldn’t be blessed at all and I also don’t think he was saying anything about being more worthy to receive the Eucharist.
Well said Father. Yet another step away from the approved liturgy, which priests are simply FORBIDDEN to do, regardless of the preferences or motives of the celebrant or the people. There is NO reason why this should be done.
Also, Canon 846 §1 says “In celebrating the sacraments the liturgical books approved by competent authority are to be observed faithfully; accordingly, no one is to add, omit, or alter anything in them on one’s own authority”
Excuse me, but no one is turning children away. The children are blessed along with everyone else at the appropriate time.
And, parental blessings are very important. If you feel your child needs an extra blessing, do it. Just outside the context of the mass.
I’m a recent convert, and I really don’t understand how some people don’t “get” the mass!
I want to apologize for a glaring, confusing, and misleading mistake. Originally the post stated, “I despise blessing children…” Fr. Z pointed out the error, and I have since corrected it to say, “I despise blessing children in the Communion line…” This is my true intention and feelings, as Fr. Z was correct to notice. I apologize for the confusion this incorrect statement has caused, and I hope the revision makes my position more clear.
Thank you, Fr. for correcting that one line in your post. I agree 100% with you on this matter. When we go to a Novus Ordo Mass we expect the blessing at the end along with everyone else. I only have one more child waiting to receive his First Holy Communion and he stays in the pew. Thankfully, we also have a traditional Mass where we live and we attend that 99% of the time.
Priests have much to correct of the silliness of the past 40 years. May you be blessed in your endeavors to correct these problems!
So what’s your stance on people who want to receive a blessing from a priest, but cannot receive Holy Communion for one of two reasons: 1. Converts who have not yet been confirmed into the Catholic Church or 2. People who committed a mortal sin and were not able to make it to confession before Sunday Mass? Believe me, I have felt the grace of becoming one with Christ spiritually in both instances when I received a blessing from the priest during Holy Communion. That blessing has infinitely more power and grace than I think you realize. Receiving a blessing from a priest/Christ during Holy Communion when you are not able to physically receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ Himself is such a beautiful and sweet, sweet grace. At those moments I understand how merciful and loving Christ truly is.
Ella, I understand your feelings… and I’m very glad that you’re enthusiastic about the Faith (as opposed to many who are blase, at best). But I have to reply to three of your points:
1) Father *does not have permission* to change the Liturgy, no matter what you, I, or anyone else might “feel” at the moment; the Liturgy belongs to Jesus, and He has entrusted it to His Church Who legislates in His Name (cf. Luke 10:16). If anyone suggests that Father needs to disobey the Church in order to “do the Will of Jesus”, then they’re saying that the Church really isn’t guided by Jesus (or the Holy Spirit, Whom He sent), or that Jesus didn’t really know what He was doing when He entrusted the Mass to the Church! The Mass isn’t ours, Ella; it belongs to Jesus, and He had every right to entrust it to the Church (i.e. legislated by our rightful authorities–i.e. not us!).
2) Please understand that “feelings” are not the way we decide truth from falsehood, or obedience from disobedience! The human heart is deceitful (cf. Jeremiah 17:9), and it’s not a reliable guide for much of anything; the only time we can rightfully “follow our hearts” is if our hearts are heading in the right direction… and we can’t decide THAT by “asking our hearts” (i.e. finding out how we “feel” about this-or-that). Case in point: blessings are valuable, whether you “feel” moved or not! Spiritual Communions (if done devoutly, etc.) are valuable and meritorious, even if they “feel” like nothing… and whether they’re done in the pew, at home, or wherever! They don’t get “more value” by being in the Communion line… and the latter causes all sorts of problems (as Father described). As gently as I can, I need to say: we have no right to insist on deformations of the liturgy, no matter what our “feelings” are. The Mass belongs to Jesus, not to us… and we can’t make up things (or follow along with what others have made up, willy-nilly) to insert into it or delete from it.
3) Re: “converts who have not been confirmed in the Church”: I assume you mean “those who are in the RCIA process [or some other preparation for full communion], who aren’t yet ready [canonically or otherwise] to receive the Eucharist”, and you weren’t referring to the Sacrament of COnfirmation? (As an RCIA coordinator, I have some experience in that regard.) Such people are done a disservice, in fact, by teaching them that deformations of the Sacred Liturgy are somehow “valid options which can make the Mass more ‘meaningful’ [by which is usually meant “more emotionally stimulating”–no emotions can add or subtract true “meaning” from the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass]. It sets them up for the false paradigm of “if I’m not emotionally fulfilled, then it’s of lesser value”… which is a disastrously dangerous thing to think! (Many a recent initiate has left the Catholic Church for an “enthusiastic, emotionally stimulating” Protestant denomination, for that very reason.)
1) You can spiritually commune from your seat.
2) The entire congregation receives a blessing at the end of Mass.
Communion time is for Communion, not blessing.
Ella: Just confirming what others have said. 1) Everyone receives a blessing at the end of Mass, and 2) you receive grace from being at Mass, whether or not you can share in Communion. It is freely given by God. You dont’ have to receive a special blessing from the priest to get it. If you or anyone else thinks that going up to the priest is at all necessary for people who can’t take Communion, then rest assured — it’s not. You are fine staying in your seat and praying.
Bring back the Communion Rail to its rightful place and get rid of the conga line. Nowhere in the documents of Vatican II did it say that Communion rails were to ripped out. Small children can kneel by their parents if the wish, but there is no expectation of a “special blessing.” BTW, Pope Benedict’s preferred way of giving Communion is kneeling and on the tongue, (the most respectful and reverent posture.)
Problem solved.
Thank You Father. I sent a copy to the Deacon here who trains EMHC’s. Probably won’t help but one can always hope!
“And people were bringing children to Him that He might touch them, but the Disciples rebuked them.
When Jesus saw this He became indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to Me; do not prevent them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’ . . .
Then He embraced them and blessed them, placing His hands on them” (Mark 10:13-16)
Contrast that passage from the Holy Gospel with Fr. Cory’s statement: “I despise blessing children in the Communion line.”
Fr. Cory, I think it’s time you took a (long) sabbatical.
Cephas, you’re using scripture out of context.
To place it properly, consider that the priest is “in persona Christi” in the Mass and has a particular role and ritual to fulfill.
You quoted him where he stated, very clearly, “I despise blessing children in the Communion line
He’s not saying he won’t bless children. He’s stating very clearly there is a place and a time. And that point of the Liturgy is NOT the time to do something different.
Jesus didn’t engage in side preferences of his “audience” when He hung on the cross, either. He knew what He was there to do and focused on this things: his response to Dismas, being crucified next to him. His last words. Giving his mother into the care of St. John. On the road to Calvary Jesus met the weeping women and spoke to them; he didn’t give a blessing.
Scripture is so often abused to try to condemn someone with whom one disagrees; your comment is a perfect example.
Time and place are important and anyone can ask for a blessing outside of the Liturgy. Also, all receive a blessing at the end of the Mass (well, those who don’t flee like Judas right after Holy Communion, anyway!)
Er… “Cephas”, with all due respect: I think it’s time you took your own sabbatical from sarcasm and snark. I’m tempted to reply “Get thee behind me, Satan; thou art a stumbling-block unto me: for thou mindest not the things of God, but the things of men. (cf. Matthew 16:23)” Your feeings are offended, so you snark at Father. Hm.
Look: if we want to go to the Eastern Orthodox way of doing things (Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist, all at once, given to infants), fine; then let the rightful legislators of the Church change things accordingly, and then we obey. But if you want to be petulant and demand your own way of doing things, simply because the legislation of the Church (which Father is simply obeying, as he swore to do at his ordination–or do you want him to be an oath-breaker for the sake of your personal tastes?) doesn’t suit your personal feelings, then what separates you from any other person who seeks to tear down the Church’s moral and legislative authority in matters of, say, homosexual “marriage” (forbidding it is so “unloving”, after all!), contraception (who are celibate men to get in the way of how a husband and wife “love” each other?), and the like? Have some sense.
YAY Father. You are so right. Congratulations and thank you!!!
Matthew 19:13 Then little children were being brought to him in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them and said “Send those entitled brats away. God’s not here to make you feel good; they shouldn’t be misled into thinking that an encounter with the Christ, the son of the living God, is something to be enjoyed, something to look forward to”;
14. but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.”
Father, as long as Jesus is in the Tabernacle (and you do believe He is, right?) then he is welcoming and blessing of children. You should be ashamed of your cramped, priggish stewardship of God’s great generosity.
Julian, honestly! Did you self-edit before you posted this? Even if you’re upset with Father’s position, did that really give you clearance to question whether Father believes in the Real Presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist? That sort of thing comes across as a crass and (forgive me) rather petulant childish insult.
Be reasonable, here: does the Mass belong to Christ, or to you? Did Jesus entrust the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to the Church, or did He not? And if so, did He make a mistake when entrusting it to the legislators of the Magisterium (despite the Holy Father’s reluctance to allow priests to deform the Mass at any and every point for the sake of sentimental parents, etc.), or did He not?
I can understand how you might have become accustomed (through the perhaps-well-meaning and unintentional disobedience of priests in your past) to such distortions of the Mass, where the priest added and subtracted numerous things on the basis of personal taste and emotion; but as painful as it is to surrender things to which we’ve become accustomed, we can’t licitly hang onto illicit things like that. If I find that my newly-purchased painting has been stolen from someone else, don’t you think it’d be the right thing to return it (and then perhaps demand restitution from the thief), even if I’d already become emotionally attached to it? What’s right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong… and no amount of “following your heart” will help you decide one from the other (cf .Jeremiah 17:9). (Compare this with your apparent implication that “God IS here to make us ‘feel good’ [see your quote, above]”.)
(Case in point: your own “sensitive heart” which so ached for the sake of the little children still, somehow, allowed you to start using terms like “cramped” and “priggish”, in addition to insinuations that Father’s faith in the Eucharist was defective, against a priest who did you no wrong. How is that “sensitive” and “caring”? Or are little children the only ones deserving of such largesse?)
Of course Father believes in the Real Presence of Jesus. And my point is, knowing that Jesus Christ is present in the room right there–in spirit and body–can one imagine him denying a blessing to the children? I cannot. Our Lord was quite flexible when it came to chapter and verse if the opportunity to dispense Grace rather than the Law arose. Man is not made for the Liturgy; the Liturgy is made for man.
Father,
I completely agree with you and our youngest is 5.
From a practical perspective the entitlement blessing mentality detracts from children learning for that longing for the Eucharist, that most children will start to show and vocalize by the time they are 4-5 years old.
In fact, the trend has even spread to adults going up with crossed arms. When I was in RCIA, there was a time when I longed to receive the Eucharist, but thank goodness, there was no push for me to go up for a blessing. That was a good thing.
We show children that they are an important part of our church and faith community in many ways. You are right that we do them a disservice by giving in to the feeling we can’t “just let them sit there” during communion.
This particular topic came up in our Liturgy/Sacraments course and led to some discussion. Our professor, also a Canon Lawyer, would agree with you 100% and basically said the same thing although from a layperson’s perspective (as he cannot give blessings and is quite aware of that fact).
As a child we never went up with Mom at Communion. Even when we misbehaved (and had red bottoms after Mass because of it!), she left us in the pew and held us responsible for our behavior. Of course, my brother was the more responsible party being older!
I was shocked when I moved to my current parish (about 2004) to see everyone and sundry going up to the altar during Communion for “a blessing”. At the time I was still fallen-away and did not approach as I had been caught, correctly, to remain in my pew if I could not receive.
I was further shocked to see Extraordinary Ministers “blessing” children in the manner of the priest. Of course, I thought, people must realize a lay “blessing” is completely invalid.
But I have learned by the reactions of many and the ongoing practice of this, that people indeed think the children are being “blessed” even if they go to an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion who does the action.
You are therefore quite correct in saying this damages their relationship with God, for they don’t understand where His authority lies and through whom the Holy Spirit acts. (Ordained Ministers, being Priests and Deacons ONLY).
How many souls out there are growing up believing anyone can “bless” them? The sad thing is that this takes on the power of superstition as it is action and no effect other than to be directed away from God and into a false practice that does nothing within the soul.
The Liturgy is all about the worship offered to God, and we receive many graces by simply being present, even if we cannot receive Our Lord in Holy Communion. A “blessing” during Communion is just what Flannery O’Connor would call “cheap grace”. It requires nothing of us and in fact, isn’t even valid unless done by a priest.
Best case scenario, if the Priest gives the blessing it’s so general it’s nearly meaningless as blessings, by nature, are to have actual subject matter. It is a practice of faith and reason together.
I completely agree. I never allowed my daughter to go up to be blessed during Holy Communion. I insisted that she remain in her seat, like I had to do before I received my First Eucharist. I also hate the hand-holding during the Our Father. I’m very uncomfortable with it. I’m not comfortable holding hands with a strange man who isn’t my husband. And yet, I feel forced to do it because if I don’t, people will think I’m being unkind and unloving. I just wish things could go back to being the way they used to be.
According to the article “all who come for a blessing should be denied”
Right. At *that particular time* it is simply inappropriate and removes attention from Christ in the Holy Eucharist, placing it rather upon the individual who desires something other than what is being offered, honored, and celebrated.
Blessings for particular matters can be given, appropriately after Mass upon simple request.
The APPROPRIATE thing to do at that point, if one cannot receive, is to make a “Spiritual Communion” which is quite valid and in fact, necessary.
Dean: Umm…. No. Everyone is blessed at the end of the Mass. No one needs to ask for a special blessing so they get “extra blessing.” The Mass is not about you!