Thanks to the pestering of AdoroTeDevote and others at Plurk, I’ve decided it’s probably time to put my vocation story down on “paper”. I’ve broken the story into 5 pieces, so hopefully each post won’t be too long. As I complete and post each section, I’ll update this post. So, without further ado, my vocation story.
Part 1 – Culbertson
Part 2 – Air Force
Part 3 – Civilian Life
Part 4 – God’s 2×4
Part 5 – Seminary Discernment
The temptation when writing a vocation story is to make the story about the author, not about the movement of the Holy Spirit within the author’s life. In my life, I can definitely see the Holy Spirit nudging me in the right direction, even as I resisted and tried to go the opposite way.
When discussing my vocation story, I always go back to high school in Culbertson, MT. Culbertson is one of the little towns that dot much of the Great Plains in North America. Big enough to have its own school, but small enough that it’s not hard to know everyone in town. We moved into Culbertson right before my Freshman year in high school, and I wasn’t happy. We’d moved a lot throughout the years that I grew up, mostly following jobs for my parents. I wasn’t looking forward to yet another move, and to a very small town this time.
Despite my misgivings, we did move to the small town of Culbertson. After we had gotten settled into our new home, we went about getting to know this town. We were signed up for school and went to Mass at the small parish of St. Anthony for the first time. I was amazed by the size of the church compared to what I was used to. The church in the previous town could seat 800 people, while St. Anthony’s could only hold about 250, and that would be stretching the limits.
Fall came around, and school started. Like many parishes, high school youth group started about the same time as classes started, and I had been signed up for youth group as well. You see, my mom wanted both of us to receive a good Catholic grounding, even if we really didn’t practice the Faith at home. Yeah, we said the grace before meals once in a while. Sure, we had a crucifix or two hanging on the walls of the house, but we really didn’t talk about how the Faith matters to us. Since it didn’t seem to be important to our parents, it wasn’t important to me. We went to Mass more Sundays than not, and I was a regular at youth group, but the practice of the Faith ended there. Over the summers, the Sundays we attended Mass became lessened due to the desire to enjoy Summer break, not to mention the all important high school part-time job which frequently meant working on Sundays.
The practice of my faith went like this for about two years until my Junior year in high school. At the time, the procedure in the diocese was to confirm during high school, preferably Junior or Senior year. In our case, the bishop only came around every other year, due to small numbers of confirmandi, and it happened to fall on my Junior year.
As part of the preparation for Confirmation classes, we had a one-on-one meeting with the instructor of the class. During this meeting, she asked me to consider lectoring and teaching Kindergarten and First Grade religious education. I agreed to give it a try, do my part to help out at the church and all that. We were expected to be at Mass every week, so I made sure to attend. It would be impossible to hide the fact that I’d missed, but I still wasn’t really committed to the practice of the Faith.
At one point, about half way through the year, she came up to me during a weekend retreat and said the most surprising thing that I had ever heard before: “Cory, I think you’re going to be a priest.” I was shocked. Me, a priest? Get up there every Sunday, suffer through the Mass willingly? Me? No way, forget it. I’m going to college, get a degree and a job, get married, have a family, and live happily ever after. That’s what we do in the US, right? The priesthood is not a part of that picture.
She wasn’t satisfied, however. About a month later, a religious sister came to the parish to talk about vocations. During the talk, as the sister was discussing the priesthood, the Confirmation instructor leaned over and said, “You know she’s talking about you, don’t you?” Once again, I shook my head no. There is no way I’m going to become a priest. Forget it!
As I look back, I can clearly see the work of the Holy Spirit through this woman, who happened to be the mother of one of my classmates. She told me one more time before the year was over that I would become a priest, and again I refused. In a way, I almost see a parallel between her three invitations to the priesthood and St. Peter’s denials of Our Lord. Just as he didn’t give up on St. Peter, Our Lord didn’t give up on me, but continued to work in my soul.
Following my Confirmation, I continued to Lector at the parish on occasion and occasionally be involved with the parish youth group, but I still wasn’t committed. The summer following my Junior year, I went on a Christian leadership retreat sponsored by the diocese, but the Faith was still something vague and unimportant to me throughout my Senior year. It was after high school that something in me began to stir, and practice of the Faith became important.
For the Jews, the Mosaic Law was that law which was given to Moses by God, and was the ultimate arbitrator of how they were to live their lives, both civilly and religiously. By healing the leper, Jesus shows us that he goes beyond the law.
As we see in the first reading, leprosy was one of the reasons by which one could be declared ritually unclean. Being declared unclean not only prevented you from entering into the temple to worship God, but also had consequences that reached into your daily life. Those publicly declared unclean were shunned by family and friends, and in some cases were required to leave the camp or town until you were able to be cleansed of what ever made you unclean.
If you think about it, this makes sense from a medical standpoint. Diseases, such as leprosy, were completely untreatable through normal means at that time. They didn’t have the medical knowledge or technology that we have today which enable us to cure many diseases that were nearly always fatal. To prevent the spread of the diseases, the infected person was cast out of the community until death or recovery from the disease, which ever came first. Once the person was healed from the disease, they could undergo a ritual purification which included a sacrifice. They could then be readmitted to their community and family. While they might not have understood everything about how diseases spread, they obviously understood the basic concept of isolation preventing the spread of disease.
Another way to become ritually unclean was either to touch or be touched by someone who was considered unclean. By Our Lord touching the leper, he also would have been considered ritually unclean, and may have suffered the same fate of being cast out of the community. Instead of Jesus receiving the disease from the leper, Our Lord was able to heal the leper, removing the disease and all effects that come from it. Rather than being made ritually unclean by the leper, Our Lord went beyond the Mosaic law by washing the leper clean, both from his disease and from his ritual impurity.
The leper provides for us the example of how to approach Our Lord with humility. All of us have our uncleanliness, our sins that we need to ask for the cleansing of Christ to come upon us and heal us. The leper was willing to come to Our Lord and say to Him, “If you wish, you can make me clean,” and Jesus responded, “I do will it. Be made clean.” We also need to come before the Lord and ask Him to make us clean.
We do this through regular reception of the Sacrament of Confession. How often is regular? At a minimum, we are required every time we know that we have a mortal sin on our soul. These serious sins cut us off from God, a separation that can only be healed through Confession. We are also required by the Church to receive this Sacrament at least once a year, even if we haven’t committed a mortal sin in that time.
Of course, once a year is the bare minimum. We are encouraged to receive this Sacrament more frequently. Ideally, we should confess our sins and receive the cleansing of Christ’s forgiveness and absolution at least once a month to provide us with the grace to overcome those sins which we seem to repeat over and over again. I frequently call these our “favorite” sins, because we seem to enjoy committing them repeatedly. Even if we only have venial sins on our souls, the graces which come through the Sacrament of Reconciliation will help to cleanse us from our sinfulness.
When we approach the Sacrament and hear the words of absolution, our sins are forgiven and our souls have been cleansed, much as the serious disease of the leper was healed. Like the author of the psalm we heard, God will take away the guilt of our sins, making us truly blessed in His eyes. As the leper did following his healing by Our Lord, we should rejoice in the forgiveness of our sins through the mercy of God and the cleansing of our souls.
The very talented musicians behind Musica Sacra, the website of the Church Music Association of America, have taken the recently released new translation of the Mass and set it to the traditional chants. Unfortunately, ICEL has asked them to restrict distribution at this time, but they have come up with an email system that respects ICEL’s request while still allowing the chants to be made available. Those interested can visit Musica Sacra’s Ordinary page or fill out the form that I’ve placed above my posts to receive these chants via email in two parts. More information can be found on the Musica Sacra website.
Some days, we just feel like Job in the first reading. We look at the world around us and feel that life is a drudgery to be endured. Our Lord has come to free us from that drudgery and introduce us to a life of joy.
Every once in a while, I just want to sit down and enjoy a good TV show, and it never fails that I’m unable to find anything worth watching. We have over 60 channels covering everything from home improvement to science to music to movies, and there never seems to be anything I want to watch. Anyone else ever feel like that?
This boredom with things doesn’t limit itself to the selection of TV shows. Most Americans have lots of things that they could do with their time. They could work on projects around the house, engage in a hobby they enjoy, do some reading, and so on. With all this available for us, why do we fall into the “there’s nothing to do” trap?
Even at work, it becomes a temptation to become bored with our jobs. All of us, whether directly or indirectly, have jobs that impact others around us, whether other employees or directly with those the company serves. Yet, the temptation is to become self-absorbed with the job, and find it dull, monotonous, and boring. Why does that occur?
The answer to all these questions is that we become focused on the things of the world. Life on Earth is not an easy thing. Yes, modern technology and engineering have definitely made things better, but there are still parts of our lives which are difficult to handle. In response, our reaction is often to turn to earthly things to provide the escape from those difficulties. Are you dealing with stress? Engage in sports or a hobby. Have family issues? Spend more time at work to forget about it. When we focus on the things of the world, we often discover that the promise these things hold for us is merely an illusion, and can even make the problem worse.
Jesus came to free us from the things of the world. Focusing our lives on the things of the world will only lead to more sorrow in the long run, but when we focus our lives on Christ, our lives become a joy. It can be subtle, and may take some time, but when we spend our lives in service of Our Lord, even the most monotonous of tasks can become a joy-filled experience.
In the Gospel this morning, Our Lord healed Simon’s mother-in-law, who was sick with a fever. At the time when Jesus was performing his earthly ministry, medicine wasn’t as advanced as it is today. Someone suffering from a fever was likely to die within a few days, as they had no medication which could take care of the underlying illness. When Our Lord healed Simon’s mother-in-law, I can imagine that she reacted with great joy to this miraculous healing. She likely asked Jesus and the Apostles to sit down and allow her to serve them out of joy and gratitude for His gift of healing.
The Gospel also tells us that Jesus healed many who were sick or possessed by demons. Once again, I can’t imagine that people would leave the house solemnly and silently, but with great joy. Those who were healed were probably dancing in the streets, shouting and praising God. In fact, St. Mark tells us that the whole town was present, so you could imagine the celebration that was occurring as everyone rejoiced for their neighbors who received the marvelous gift of healing.
This is the joy that we will receive when we serve Our Lord. It won’t be as sudden as the miraculous healings we see in the Gospel, but we will still experience it. We will have this joy when we do something small for another person, like holding a door when their hands are full. We will experience great joy when we visit someone who is homebound and doesn’t receive many visitors. The joy will come when we listen and pray for those who are at difficult points in their lives, allowing them to express their frustrations and receive consolation and prayer.
It is easy to fall into the temptation of focusing on worldly things and viewing life as a drudgery to endure. If we focus on serving Our Lord, we will rise above that temptation and drudgery, and experience the joys that come with the simple things we do every day.
Our Lord walked a different path than all other religious leaders of His time. His teachings and actions amazed all who encountered Him, as He lived a life that was unlike anything that they had seen before. He lived a life that was contrary to the expectations of the world, and He calls us to do the same.
For the religious teachers in Jesus’ time, much of their teaching came from the traditions that had been handed down from generation to generation. Instead of presenting his understanding of what a particular passage in the Scriptures means, a religious teacher would invoke those teachers who had taught before, much like we might quote the Saints or Church Fathers. These teachers would not teach of their own authority, as they felt that they had none other than to pass on the teachings that were entrusted to them.
When Our Lord would stand up in the synagogues to teach, he wouldn’t begin by quoting other rabbis, but would invoke his own authority to explain the Scriptures. This would have caused a great shock to all those who were listening, and He did create no small amount of controversy from His teachings. His teachings appeared to be so completely different, even contradictory, to the teachings of those who came before, and this fed the controversy even more.
For many in Judaism, the last teacher who was able to teach with his own authority was Moses, and even that came through the authority of God the Father. As we heard in the first reading, Moses was given the promise that there would be a prophet who would like him, and would have the words of God in his mouth. While it was probably not the way Moses expected, Jesus was the fulfillment of this promise. Because Jesus was able to teach with the Word of God instead of the words of men, He was able to teach on his own authority. This was completely radical to the people of Jesus’ time, causing great amazement and controversy.
The controversy didn’t end with Jesus’ teachings, however. Jesus also had the power to rebuke demons, forcing them to be silent and even leave the person they had possessed. Again, this would have been completely different from the authority provided to any of the other religious teachers of His time. It caused great amazement to those who followed Him, and enraged those who were opposed to Him.
By looking at the radicality of Jesus’ teachings and actions, we see that the unclean spirit in today’s Gospel was right about two things. First, it was right that Jesus is the Holy One of God, code language for the Messiah and Son of God. Second, it was right that Jesus came to destroy them and their effects on this world. Since the Fall of Adam and Eve, Satan and his demons have had run of the world, but now Our Lord has come to cut off their free reign. Instead of allowing us to wander blindly through this world of sin, Jesus has shown us a new path out of sin and into the joy of eternal life. In short, all the teachings and actions of Christ, so different from what had come before, served to show us a different path through the world: the Gospel.
Although Our Lord has come to overcome the effects of sin in our lives, it’s still very easy for us to fall of the path that He has shown us. This is why St. Paul says that he “should like [us] to be free of anxieties.” When we are anxious for the things of the world, we lose our focus on the Gospel and instead concentrate on those things that make us anxious. At that point, it becomes easy to slide off the path of the Gospel and instead return to the ways of the world. St. Paul tells us that we need to have “adherence to the Lord without distraction,” and it becomes very difficult to worry about worldly affairs and remain undistractedly focused on Our Lord. This doesn’t mean that we totally remove ourselves from the world, but must not allow the things of the world to make us anxious.
Jesus has shown us another way of living our lives. May be willing to follow that path without anxiety for the world.
In the spiritual life, there are very common patterns that run throughout our lives. Sometimes it takes years of study and discernment to find those patterns, but today’s Gospel gives us one very common pattern, a pattern for becoming a devoted follower of Jesus. This pattern of living is not only for us to follow Him, but also for inviting others to follow Our Lord as well.
The first step in this pattern is hearing the Gospel proclaimed to us. All of us, at one time or another, have had the teachings of the Lord explained to us, showing us why it is necessary to follow Him for salvation. Many of us may have heard it many times, through homilies, spiritual reading, religion classes and so on. At some point, there was someone willing to proclaim the Gospel of Christ to us.
The second step is to hear Our Lord’s call to follow Him. We know that Jesus is always pulling on our hearts to become more deeply devoted to Him and follow Him, but we often don’t hear that call because of events in our lives or ignore that call because it might cause us to move out of where we’re comfortable. Even with our reluctance to answer that call, Our Lord is calling to us much as He called to Simon, Andrew, James, and John on the shore of the Sea of Galilee.
The four fishermen show us an example of the third step: responding to Our Lord’s call by following Him. These fishermen left behind everything they had, especially their livelihoods, to follow Jesus. To give up everything and follow Our Lord is the ultimate sacrifice, one that we may not be called to make, but we still need to follow Him with the willingness to sacrifice anything to serve Him.
As followers of Our Lord, we are not only challenged to follow His will, but also to evangelize those around us, to bring the whole world to follow Christ. It’s a difficult challenge to be sure, and may not always be welcome by those we interact with on a daily basis, but these three steps also give us the guidelines to evangelization.
First, we must be willing to proclaim the Gospel, both in words and in deeds. If we truly wish to follow Our Lord, we must act as He would have us act, and be willing to give up those thoughts and behaviors which are contrary to living the Gospel. Likewise, we must be willing to talk to others about the Gospel, which will be difficult at best and will mean saying somethings which will not be popular, especially in the area of morality. Our culture here in the United States, as well as throughout much of the developed world, has rapidly slid away from the promotion of Christian values. We are challenged to stand up to that culture in defense of life and morality, both on a national level through political action, but also on a personal level through our conversations with those we meet every day. It is extremely difficult to speak up to promote the Gospel, but Our Lord asks each of us to do just that.
Along with proclaiming the Gospel, we can call others to follow Jesus, much as He called the fishermen on the shore. Many of us know someone or several people who may have left the practice of the Catholic faith for various reasons. Sometimes they may have just stopped going to church, not going on Sunday any more, or they may have started attending another church. For whatever reason they may have for not attending, we need to reach out to them and invite them to come back. It may not always be met with approval, but we still need to make the effort to invite them.
Finally, following Our Lord may bring with it some difficulties. St. Paul, whose conversion we also celebrate today, frequently had to suffer through persecution because of his willingness to follow Christ and spread His Gospel. Even through the persecutions, St. Paul dedicated his life to Christ’s Gospel, and we must be willing to do the same. Persecution may come for those who follow Christ, but we need to remember that the Kingdom of God is at hand, as he tells us in today’s Gospel passage. We follow Our Lord so that we may have a share in that Kingdom. The persecutions of this life will pass away, to be replaced with the joy of the life to come.
By following Our Lord, we may come to feel like Jonah in the first reading who was reluctant to go through Nineveh announcing the Lord’s message. Jonah did what God commanded of him, and the people of Nineveh repented. We must also be willing to proclaim what Our Lord has commanded of us so that our world may repent and turn to Him.
OK, this is really cool for a Sci-Fi geek like me: C.S. Lewis has a rock named after him on Mars, and another rock is named after Malacandra, the name Lewis gave to Mars in his Space Trilogy. Both are in this image from NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day. Both rocks are just below the label marking “East”. The science geeks at NASA have good taste!
Today, we’re remembering one of the most painful anniversaries in the history of our nation. We have many anniversaries that commemorate great events within our history, but this is not one of them. Thirty-six years ago, on January 22, 1973, the United States Supreme Court legalized abortion at all stages from conception to birth. To remember this anniversary, we are asked to make today a day of penance, which is why I’m wearing the purple of Advent and Lent instead of the green of Ordinary Time.
Our previous Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, challenged our nation during his visit to St. Louis, Missouri in 1999 by saying, “And so America: if you want peace, work for justice. If you want justice, defend life. If you want life, embrace truth – truth revealed by God.” When we look the United States’ track record in fulfilling his challenge, we’ve failed in two ways. First, we’ve failed to embrace the truth that all life is sacred, from conception to natural death. Second, we’ve failed to defend those who are the most defenseless and cannot speak for themselves: the unborn. It’s little wonder why there is so much division and violence in our nation when we refuse to view life as sacred.
Here in Montana, these attacks on life have reached a new level through the judicial approval of so-called “physician assisted suicide”. The approval of physician assisted suicide, more accurately known as euthanasia, is just a logical conclusion to the principle that human life is not sacred, and therefore is not worthy of protection, especially when it is inconvenient. If life is not respected and protected at the very beginning in the womb, why respect and protect it at the end?
To combat these attacks on human life, and those to come in the future, we must remind ourselves of the sacredness of all human life. Our lives are gifts from God, and we show our appreciation for this gift by protecting and defending life from those who would destroy it. To repeat Pope John Paul II, “And so America: if you want peace, work for justice. If you want justice, defend life. If you want life, embrace truth – truth revealed by God.” May our nation embrace the truth revealed by God and defend all life from conception to natural death.
Day in and day out, we hear lots of voices. We turn on the TV and hear the voices of the newscasters and actors and actresses. The radio is full of the voices of the announcers and singers. The voices of our coworkers and bosses fill our work environments. Even in our free time, we hear the voices of our families and friends. In the midst of all this noise, Jesus is calling to us softly, like a whisper in the night, to follow him.
Because of the voices that surround us, we might miss hearing the voice of the Lord. We might be so wrapped up in the problems and concerns of the world that we lose our focus on the spiritual realm. It’s easy in times of challenges and struggles to put away prayer and focus on taking care of the problems that confront us. Unfortunately, it’s also easy to fall into sin, which makes it harder to hear Our Lord’s call, much as ear plugs make it hard to hear what is being said by others around us.
At other times in our lives, we might hear the Lord speaking to us, but mistake where that voice is coming from. Like Samuel, who mistook God’s call in the middle of the night for Eli calling to him, we might think that the call we hear is coming from the world. Instead of following the voice that we hear from Jesus, we turn towards the things of the world and follow after them.
Conversely, we might hear voices which claim to be speaking on behalf of God, but are really speaking for themselves. Throughout history, much pain and suffering have come at the hands of those who have tricked others to follow their voices instead of the Lord’s voice. Civil and religious leaders have sparked wars claiming that they were called by God to enter into battle against those who opposed them. Cult leaders, such as Jim Jones or David Koresh, brainwashed large groups of people convincing them that the leader’s voice was the only true way to hear God’s voice.
Ideally, we will reject all these false voices which serve to draw us away from Our Lord, but discerning His voice amongst the chaos can be difficult at best. Jesus does not speak to us in a literal voice, much as one human speaks to another, but speaks to us through the people and things that surround us every day. Likewise, He speaks to us through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, drawing us closer to Him through subtle hints and feelings. With all the conflicting voices, how do we block out those which are not from Our Lord and focus on those which come from Him?
To hear Our Lord’s voice, we first need to realize that He is always speaking to us. He is constantly trying to encourage us to turn to Him, so we need to find ways to silence ourselves and allow Him to speak to us. We need to take time every day to shut out as many distractions and outside voices as we can and just focus on Our Lord. While it would be ideal to spend time before the Blessed Sacrament here in the church every day, that’s not always possible or practical. Some times, it might be as simple as going into the bedroom or another secluded part of the house for even just a few minutes each day. I’ve known people who would sit in their cars and pray, as it was the only quiet place that they had available to them.
When we take this time for silence and prayer, we need to respond to the Lord as Eli instructed Samuel to respond: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” We need to make this prayer with sincerity and listen for His words. As we begin to listen, there probably won’t be a whisper, as Samuel heard, and it may take some time to figure out God’s voice in our lives. Eventually, His voice will become very clear as we spend more time in prayer, as we will begin to recognize His voice. It’s all a matter of discernment of His will for our lives and how He is speaking to us at this moment in our lives.
Like He did with Samuel, God is calling to us to follow Him. We just need to open our hearts and listen.
